august moves on

whiffs of autumn in the air as we round the corner
toward full on indian summer. and where-o’-where did the time go?

very tired today as we woke up last night around 3am to
watch the moon eclipsed by the earth and get all red and dark

marg and I continue to work on the book and w/ each passing day it gets easier to contend w/. There are multiple levels and complications naturally.

The most basic is simply how we work together, being two very diff writers w/ two very diff styles and approaches and disiciplines. another is the book itself – slippery and very hard to get a grasp on what exactly it’s going to be. not quite literary memoir but mainly so, only w/ visuals but not visuals that merely illustrate the text but hopefully illuminate it so that text and visual threads connote something larger and harder to define. it’s serpentine and spidery. thirdly, revisiting and reliving some of the highlights and lowlights of a year dealing w/ a brain tumor naturally churns up some things better left forgotten, some emotional things tug at us, urging us underwater, threatening to keep us there.

I still have deep anger and hurt and confusion and befuddlement and fear as I remember and relive this time. This era that this dec 27 will have begun 3 yrs ago. it exists right alongside me, both separate from me and forever intertwined w/ my being and memory. It still messes w/ me and I suspect it will forever.