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albert street

portland on the front pg of the ny times this am discussing
gentrification and race. unfortunate captions refer to alberta street
as 'albert'. oh well.

update: they've fixed it online

and this story about monkeys moving robotic arms, also on the front page. man, i have some big kneejerk problems w/ monkeys being used for science but the repercussions could be enormous. moving things w/ your brain. and stuff

rip, s. pollack

sydney pollack had his misses but as a director (and actor) you can't do better than tootsie. not to mention (as actor) husband & wives and eyes wide shut

in the news

ted kennedy's glioma has put brain tumors in the forefront for a news cycle or two.

for those of you who don't know my brain tumor story, click here. feel free to comment or let me know what you think

the wknd in capsule

another busy one w/ arms and tendrils spreading and not enough time to get what needs doing done. got a haircut, ran, went to family gathering, went to tu fawning ep release at rotture, learned about chi running courtesy of mm's boss, squeezed in a couple naps, watched most of band of outsiders, ducked into the academy theater to stay cool, etc ad nauseum.

this morning i took part in an online telephone conference call survey for chordoma and chondrosarcoma patients. it went long and since i had to run 40 min this AM i had to rush off and then jump in the shower so i didn't have time to meditate but i stopped in the park across from city hall before i got to my building and took care of it there. i was that guy. but i was glad to be that guy. lucky.

oh and throughout, various long-gestating nebulae are finally forming solid for 'the black sea'. persons and budgets and schedules. not solid yet. but getting there. stay tuned.

the thumb - before and after

there you go

askew but in a good way

man something has been going on these past few wks. can't quite pinpoint it or quantify it or say exactly what's causing it but in short, things are good. granted, i've been running again after some time off. i've been moderating alcohol intake and cut coffee altogether. started meditating again after years away from it. i feel like i'm able to toss aside an anchor that i've carried on my back for 3.5 yrs. [i'm referring to a specific situation w/ a specific person there but it's a broader metaphor as well]. The anchor was built of disparate emotions, anger the most dominant among them. It was deep-rooted and sustained, spreading across months and months into years, the sort of thing you recognize intellectually as malevolent and wrong but that emotionally you cannot face. Tied to the shadow side. I feel different now though. I feel ready to say good-bye to that darkness. Its purpose served, sentence completed, course run. see you later. friday i contacted the person in the equation. haven't heard back yet but in some ways the response is beside the point. not to say i don't care whether i hear back b/c i'd love to but the gesture is the end not the means to the end.

saturday was the 9 mi run. i had slight dread b/c i missed last wk's long run due to fatigue but i managed. core strength improving day by day, run by run...came home and had a breakfast and watched 'together' (awesome) and took a 90 min nap...that night we saw "the apartment" at the laurelhurst which was a marvel. i'd seen it several times already but man, it holds up. almost 50 yrs old and still relevent. watched 'lost wknd' a couple wks ago (amazing) so i may be about to relaunch a billy wilder phase. i've lately been stuck on tarkovsky and cassavetes and watching a million first films in anticipation of my own. as if that'll buttress me from screwing up. but still...

had three great visits this past wk w/ 3 amazing people: wednesday w/ sis, saturday w/ old great friend, and sunday w/ mom. You're all ass-kickers!

oh, and tu fawning ep release tomorrow i think. check it. i've heard the ep a couple times and shit man, it's real good.

5-6-7

just dawned on me today that tuesday was one year since I ran the vancouver marathon. unbelievable. i am perpetually reminded of my good fortune to still be drawing breath and not be living in brain-tumor world any longer, or at least not w/ the immediacy and urgency of before.

currently i'm training for the portland marathon in october, not on behalf of the NBTF formally but certainly peripherally, as a survivor.

may day

dude, been awhile. my bloggery, once storied and voluminous has transmogrified to an ashamed trickle. all of april seemed to gather and evaporate in an eye-blink. but then, things were happening. preordained gathering of random happenstances in no particular order:

friends in town which was good but not the reason for them being there, a makeshift japanese maple pruning, a birthday party ducked; another attended, a battery of tomes on film budgeting and scheduling, the close of the trailblazer season which ended 50% but which felt like 90%, 4 months, 3 wks, 2 days and good, bad & ugly and on the waterfront and paranoid park – all in one month, routine rounding of the corners, the grant-writing class and the tree-planting, the persistent urge from the inward voices get me out of this day job already, that word transmutation again and all it engenders and who it refers to (and who it does not), 31knots show, and rejoining the running world, 5 wks deep already, en route to the portland marathon in october. There feels like motion in multiple arenas creatively. plus I mowed the lawn. twice.